Old AGE !.....

An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling a sleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.

She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said. "Then you use to bite my neck. "Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going ?" she asked.

"To get my teeth!"

Time Please

Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?
Old Man: Certainly not.
Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to lose,ifYou tell me the time?
Old Man: Yes, I may lose something if I tell you the time.
Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?
Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will ask me the time.
Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my name and address.
Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you were just passing by and came into wish me. Then as a courtesy, I will offer you a cup of tea. After my courteous approach you will try to come again. This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made it?
Young Man: Possible
Old Man: Then I will tell you that my daughter has and I will then have to introduce my young and pretty daughter to you & you will admire my daughter.
Young Man: Smiles. ;)
Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter again and again. You will offer her to go out for a movie together and a date with you.
Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall in love with her and propose her for marriage.
Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and tell me about your love and ask for my permission.
Young Man: Oh Yes! And smiles
Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my daughter to a person like you who does not even own a watch.

Ten Golden Rules for the Good Life

• Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
• Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.
• Never spend your money before you have it.
• Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will never be dear to you.
• Pride costs us more than hunger, thirst, and cold.
• Never repent of having eaten too little.
• Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.
• Don’t let the evils, which have never happened cost you pain.
• Always take things by their smooth handle.
• When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, count to one hundred..

Lunch With God

A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with a bag of potato chips and a six-pack of root beer and started his journey.When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old woman. She was sitting in the park, just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her some chips. She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him.

Her smile was so pretty that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered her a root beer. Again, she smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They satthere all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

As twilight approached, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave; but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old woman, and gave her a hug. She gave him her biggest smile ever.

When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, "What did you do today that made you so happy?" He replied, "I had lunch with God." But before his mother could respond, he added, "You know what? She's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!"

Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home. Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face and he asked, "Mother, what did you do today that made you so happy?" She replied! "I ate potato chips in the park with God." However, before her son responded, she added, "You know, he's much younger than I expected.

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime! Embrace all equally!

TWO Frogs

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead.
The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.
The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die.
He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?"
The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.


This story teaches two lessons:

1. There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day.
2. A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them.

Be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your path. The power of words...

It is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way.

Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another of the spirit to continue in difficult times. Special is the individual who will take the time to encourage another.

House of 1000 mirrors

Long ago in a small, far away village, there was place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors.

A small, happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house.

He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could. To his great surprise, he found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs with their tails wagging just as fast as his. He smiled a great smile, and was answered with 1000 great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the House, he thought to himself, "This is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit it often."

In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the house. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door.

When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, "That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again."

All the faces in the world are mirrors. What kind of reflections do you see in the faces of the people you meet?

About Life: Learned From Trees

• It's important to have roots.
• In today's complex world, it pays to branch out.
• Don't pine away over old flames.
• If you really believe in something, don't be afraid to go out on a limb.
• Be flexible so you don't break when a harsh wind blows.
• Sometimes you have to shed your old bark in order to grow.
• If you want to maintain accurate records, keep a log.
• To be politically correct, don't wear firs.
• Grow where you're planted.
• It's perfectly okay to be a late bloomer.
• Avoid people who would like to cut you down.
• Get all spruced up when you have a hot date.
• If the party gets boring, just leaf.
• You can't hide your true colors as you approach the autumn of your life.
• It's more important to be honest than poplar.

Don't Wait to Be Happy, Be Happy Now

We convince ourselves that life will be betterafter we get married, have a baby, then another.Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough.. We'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we haveteenagers to deal with.We will certainly be happy whenthey are out of " that stage ".We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets hisor her act together. When we get a nicer car,when we are able to go on a nice vacation, or when we retire.The truth is, there's no better timeto be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will " always " be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decideto be happy anyway. Happiness is the way.

So, treasure "every" moment! Treasure it more because youshared it with someone special.Special enough to spendyour time with...

Remember that time waits for no one. Happiness is like sugar,Just a little can make you smile.

Mathematic Magic

259 X (Ur age) X 39 =?

Try it and you will be surprised to see the result.

SOME LOGICIAL THOUGHTS and STATEMENTS

• Whenever you find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
• To Err is human, but to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
• The road to success??.. Is always under construction.
• Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
• In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you have ability to repay back.
• All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.
• Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
• Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.
• If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
• You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
• Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
• 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot.
• As soon as you mention something?? If it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.
• He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.
• If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? The bus is still late.
• Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
• When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.
• If you have paper, you don't have a pen. If you have a pen, you don't have paper. If you have both, no one calls.
• Especially for eng. Students : If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
• You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
• The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
• After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.
• If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.
• Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker
• Before borrowing money from a friend, decide whether you need more.
• There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.
• An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
• Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
• Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
• When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
• Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
• Well done is better than well said .
• Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.
• Where there is a WILL, there is a WAY, Where there is MONEY, there are many WAYS.
• Where there is MONEY, there are many FRIENDS and RELATIVES.
• Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.